Sophia (Not Coppola)

Snow?  What snow?

Mischa Barton loves her Primp Thermal   And so does Forever 21, because they totally copied it!  Ack!

Turn up the heat-  OUR heat!

Hey L.L., you’re a beautiful girl, I just wish there was more of you in your new Miu Miu ads… and by more I mean, your actual waist… come on Lindsay, you’re gorgeous when you’re normal!

So I think I’ve found my next acting role.

Next. First. Whatever.

Anyway.  Now that The O.C. is finished, Josh Schwartz is making a new show for the C.W. based on Gossip Girl, the books that were supposed to be a movie starring Lindsay Lohan that never really happened.

And of course, I must play the main gossip girl, Serena Van Der Woodsen.  Because 1) whomever gets to play her will skyrocket to Mischa-like status  2) being rich and beautiful and a little bit oblivious is sort of my deal anyway 3) Now that I’ve already inspired a perfume, there’s really nowhere else to go but a series of Keds Ads followed by an icky rock star boyfriend, too many fashion week appearances, and Rachel Zoe on speed dial.

So Josh.  Sign me up, okay?  Please?!

Aaah! Finally back from Palm Beach with my ridiculous family (not even my real family, half of them are step and the other half I’m like praying I’m not actually related to. And Palm Beach is soooo boring, not at all like Sunset Heat).

Anyway, of course the first thing I grab is Page Six (okay, cheating, I don’t grab it, our housekeeper Vera leaves it out on the table with breakfast…) and it has this thinly veiled guessing game… which of course I’ve decided to keep guessing on. What do you guys think?

WHICH ubiquitous blond clotheshorse is gaining a reputation for being dumb as a brick, obnoxious, spoiled and hard to work with? Look for several business deals to fall through next year due to her waning appeal

(um, Paris, Sienna, Ashley Olsen?)

WHICH terrifyingly thin celeb convinced friends she needs to re-enter rehab for anorexia by telling them she survives on decaf Starbucks and mixed nuts?

(um, Nicole, Kate Bosworth, MK?)

WHICH back-stabbing friend of an overly publicized starlet is on retainer at a high-selling tabloid? When she’s not trying to copy the star or steal her boyfriends, she’s selling secrets to the rags.

(see, this one is good…)

Do you think Marc was inspired by the Vanity Fair spread where Tom Ford put her in Chanel?  And is this a good idea?  It sort of reminds me of 8th grade, when Eva thought it would be cool to wear her mom’s old Halston dress to the Blue and Gold, and everyone thought she was my stepmother.  It was so not okay.

Totally inspired by Jenny’s Separated at Birth post (although, um, I had no idea what Brendon Urie looked like…), and also by this awesome blog Don’t Waste the Pretty, I saw something while pouring over Sebastian’s GQ this morning at Pastis.

Lindsay Lohan looks a little odd in this photo…

Is it because she’s trying to look JUST like Kate Moss?

Especially the nose and the little pout! There’s got to be a way to get that nose with a little makeup… any ideas?

Here Jenny, this should cheer you up – it seems that the popular high school girls can become total nerds, and vice versa.  Here’s the ultimate proof:

Here’s Brittany Murphy, who used to be trashy and totally rejected from the cheerleading squad in Clueless, looking seriously incredible at the Happy Feet premiere.

And here’s Alicia Silverstone, former Clueless prom queen, looking WAY not as good as Brittany Murphy.  I guess it’s a good thing that Brittany’s been in the spotlight so much, so she could see pics of herself and how she needs to evolve her style.  After all, a watched pot never spoils.  Or whatever.

love him. love him. love him.

ps – if you want to read the letter bigger, click here