Sophia (Not Coppola)

Baby’s First Blog | October 23, 2006

So I was dating this guy.


That’s how most of these will start. Hi, too. I’m Sophia.

So I was dating this guy. He was a “throwback”, that’s an Eva term, like “throw him back, he’s not the one!” And yeah she was right, he wasn’t a keeper – I won’t say why, except I was bored and it wasn’t right. But before, when we were dating, one night or I guess it was one morning, I rolled over and he was already dressed and almost gone.

And he goes “Sophia. What do you do all day?” And I was still in bed so I just laughed at him, but then after brunch with Eva, I went home and made a list because I was so pissed at him. It was like, What Sophia Does,

1. Counsels latest stepmom through latest fertility treatment.

2. Counsels real mom through latest “bad energy” cycle; adjust feng shui in her closet as needed
3. Drink.
4. Date guys. See beginning of blog.

5. Go on auditions. Okay, audition. So what, some people go their whole life without a single audition!

6. Make lists. Apparently.

So anyway I did throw back the guy, because he made some offhand comment about one of the Hearst girls that I thought was rude, but I’m still letting him get to me. Like honestly, what do I do? And don’t say “you take modern art theory at the New School” because really I just sit next to Olivia Palermo and pass notes all class and there’s no use pretending otherwise. Because if I do school stuff for another two years, I’ll die. So if you know what I should do with my life, post it here and I’ll review.

Oh wait, I have one more to add to the list:

7. Go see Marie Antoinette with Eva and Jenny. We’re so excited. We’re going to sneak champagne into the movie theatre in Snapple Bottles and also eat cupcakes. We thought it would be ironic. Okay, Jenny thought it would be ironic, I was like, whatever honey, just tell me where to go. But if Kirsten gets her head cut off, I’m all for that.

I mean, then there will be a little more room for me, and that’s the whole point. Anyway, Kirsten doesn’t really need her head anymore- she lost it the minute she broke up with Jake Gyllenhaal anyway.

I mean, when I meet Jake Gyllenhaal – well, I will not post any more stories that start with “so I was dating this guy.” That’s for damn sure.


Posted in In My Life

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