Sorry Wilmer, We’re Not Dating…

Yesterday Eva and I were watching Yo Mama on MTV. It reminded me so much of what we used to do at school, like when you say, “Oh, Eva, you look cute – very Aspen,” it means, “Eva, why are you wearing J. Crew?” I guess I learned it from my mom and how she talks to other moms. Like how the Apple doesn’t fall far from the iPod or whatever.

So then Wilmer Valderamma said Yo Mama was coming to New York and I was like, we have to enter. We can totally win. So I started coming up with my own…

Yo Mama’s so tacky, she thinks that Coco Chanel is a candy bar.

Yo Mama’s so suburban, she thinks that Burberry is a new flavor of syrup at IHOP.

Yo Mama’s so dirty, when she walks into Cornelia Day Spa, they think she’s already had a mud bath.

Yo Mama’s so huge, the only runway she can walk down is the one at Sakorski for private jets.

Yo Mama’s so clueless, she thinks My Chemical Romance is a rehab center.

Right? We would totally win.

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Posted in In My Life