Sophia (Not Coppola)

Baby It’s Cold Outside

January 27, 2007
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Turn up the heat-  OUR heat!


Best Week Ever? Not So Much.

January 27, 2007
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Sorry I took a time out from the blog but I’m getting a little self conscious.  I know that I’m not the best writer and that sometimes I can be a space cadet, but… well, here’s what happened.

Last week I was talking to Sebastian, and I was like, let’s go to Doma and drink coffee all day, and he was like “why? don’t you want to go shop and party?” And I felt like Cher in Clueless when she has to ask Paul Rudd “Is that all I am to you, a ditz with a credit card?”

And I realize that I love Nicole Richie and drinks and shopping.  But I’m way insulted.  I didn’t even expect to be insulted, but for some reason it really bothered me.  And I said, “no, I think I just want to talk” and he said okay but I could tell he didn’t mean it.  I could tell.

And I thought, fine, you know what? I’ll go myself.  So I walked to Gitane in Michael Kors flat boots because I guess I was feeling more intellectual.  I brought my copy of “Lipstick Jungle” and I sat with a latte and I read.  I looked up and everybody else was reading.  Not Sidekicking.  Not flirting.  Reading.  And the weird thing is, it felt peaceful.  It felt nice.  It was a little like getting a pedicure, but you didn’t have to talk to anybody which is of course the annoying part.

Just when I got to the “Lipstick Jungle” part that I’m convinced is about Anna Wintour (Eva says it’s not but what does she know? She only worked at Not Vogue), this guy takes the seat next to me.  He looks a little like Jude Law.  Then he starts talking and I’m like, wait a second, are you actually Jude Law?

But here’s the thing – he’s like, “is that coffee good? I never know what to get in an American coffee shop,” like trying to play the whole British thing?  And normally I would be so into the entire ordeal and I would be like, “do you want a sip” and then it’s basically like pre-kissing because we’re sharing a cup, you know?  But instead I’m like, “it’s good coffee, but it’s even better when it’s quiet.”  And I got up and left.

Then yesterday I passed by NYU on my way to Forever 21? Which I will totally admit I shop at?  And I saw these course catalogues in the window.  I took one.  I started reading about classes on marketing.  I don’t know.  I sort of love the idea of me in an office.  Now that Isabel Toledo is doing the Anne Klein line I think there will be some great suits for fall.  And also, then I can send Sebastian a business card.  It can be like “Sophia Schouler – marketing executive for the coolest theater company in New York, like The Citizens Band so I can hang out with Karen Elson.”

And then on the back I’m going to write “I’m not stupid but you’re still a jerk.”


Posted in In My Life

How to Deal With Winter

January 27, 2007
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  As you can tell from the fact that our TV show is called SUNSET HEAT, we girls are not fans of the cold weather.

While jetting off to Cabo or Miami is always an option for us, it’s not really an option for most of you (or for me actually because I’m camped out until Factory Girl finally opens next week).

So, here’s a little list of things you can do to make yourself feel more summery when your cab turns into an igloo and walking to brunch is the equivalent of an arctic exploring trip.

Also, I don’t know who invented the phrase “cold comfort” but they were totally deranged. I mean, if you can’t stand the heat, get out of the party.  Or something.

Okay 1.  Wear your bikini underneath your cashmere.  This is especially fun if your bikini is print (like Paris’, left) and your cashmere is a little sheer.  A black C&C cashmere tee with a black Burberry print bikini underneath is awesome.

2. Use products with coconut in them to make you smell like the beach.  You should shave your legs with Suave Coconut conditioner bc it works the same as shaving cream but it smells like Hawaii!

3.  Drink margaritas instead of martinis.

4.  Go to a hotel with a hot tub instead of a bar.  The hotel QT may be in midtown, which is gross, but it also lets you go with a bathing suit, drink by the pool all night, and breathe in humid chlorine, which is surprisingly soothing in the winter.

5. Smell sunset heat perfume.  Duh.  That’s cheesy but it always does remind me of my summer.

6.  Put your Versace beach towel on top of your bed and read your favorite magazines in a tank top and shorts.  Turn a heat lamp on next to you and watch DVDs of The O.C.

7. Hibernate.

Posted in In My Life

Renee Zellweger, Fashion Hero

January 17, 2007
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Reese Witherspoon did look amazing at the Golden Globes, but I think their unsung style hero was Renee Zellweger.

She was smart enough to pick a knee-length dress since she’s too short to wear a long one.  She chose a flattering color instead of a trendy one.  She’s accentuating her curves instead of starving herself out of them.  And she used to date Jack White, which – thanks to Jenny – is now something I find totally impressive.

Also, it doesn’t appear that she has a date, which makes it even better.

As for me, I don’t think I’m going to date the Murakami guy, so maybe instead I’ll head to Dior and find this dress.

But – here’s the next question – do you think I can set him up with Jenny?  Or is that like buying someone’s birthday present at a sample sale.

Fill me in.

Posted in In My Life

Better Than The Hills

January 15, 2007
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Jenny gives a way better performance than Lauren Conrad ever could!

Posted in In My Life

Lindsay Lohan Gets Photoshopped

January 14, 2007
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Hey L.L., you’re a beautiful girl, I just wish there was more of you in your new Miu Miu ads… and by more I mean, your actual waist… come on Lindsay, you’re gorgeous when you’re normal!

Sophia’s Choice

January 14, 2007
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So I met this guy.

Surprise.  That’s how these always go.

It was at the Beatrice Inn, when I was trying to make amends with Jenny.  Which sort of worked, I guess, if by “sort of worked” we mean, Jenny smiled and said, “it’s okay, I’m over it,” and her face was clearer to see through than her vanilla vodka and it said “I’m trying but I’m not sure I can be friends with you ever again.”

But we can still try.

In the meantime, we texted Sebastia, who must have been drunk because he came by Beatrice and started talking to us about art and The Trascendentalists.  I was like, okay, The Transcendentalists must be a band, right?  So I let Jenny and Sebastian talk about those together, and while I texted Eva, this guy came over.

He was gorgeous.  We talked for maybe five minutes before Jenny declared “Eva just texted – The Strokes are all at Milk and Honey, and now that Fab and Drew are done, we have to go!”  So we did, but I gave this guy my number.

He called the next day.  A little too eager for me, but whatever.  He calls and he can’t seem to carry on a conversation.  He asks me questions like “so where do you live?” and “where are you from?” and I’m like, okay, you have no game, buh bye.

But then he says he works as an artist for Tadashi Murakami.

Yeah, THE Murakami. The one with the bags.

And he says he’s working on this giant Louis Vuitton print painting for an opening he’s having next month, and would I like to see it?

But.  This guy is dreadfully boring.  I almost hung up on him four times during our conversation.  It was like watching BBC America in Spanish, that’s how dreadfully dull the whole thing was.  So what should I do?  Date him despite zero interest so I can see this incredible painting (and meet Murakami and have him autograph the inside of my bag)?
Or do I just back away, slowly, from the cute and incredibly well connected, but dreadfully boring boy?


Posted in In My Life

I’m Ready for My Closeup

January 6, 2007
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(Dear Nora Ephron, I am cuter than Meg Ryan… plus my lips are real)

Posted in In My Life

Gossip Girl, Part Two

January 6, 2007
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So I think I’ve found my next acting role.

Next. First. Whatever.

Anyway.  Now that The O.C. is finished, Josh Schwartz is making a new show for the C.W. based on Gossip Girl, the books that were supposed to be a movie starring Lindsay Lohan that never really happened.

And of course, I must play the main gossip girl, Serena Van Der Woodsen.  Because 1) whomever gets to play her will skyrocket to Mischa-like status  2) being rich and beautiful and a little bit oblivious is sort of my deal anyway 3) Now that I’ve already inspired a perfume, there’s really nowhere else to go but a series of Keds Ads followed by an icky rock star boyfriend, too many fashion week appearances, and Rachel Zoe on speed dial.

So Josh.  Sign me up, okay?  Please?!

Gossip Girl, Part One

January 6, 2007
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Aaah! Finally back from Palm Beach with my ridiculous family (not even my real family, half of them are step and the other half I’m like praying I’m not actually related to. And Palm Beach is soooo boring, not at all like Sunset Heat).

Anyway, of course the first thing I grab is Page Six (okay, cheating, I don’t grab it, our housekeeper Vera leaves it out on the table with breakfast…) and it has this thinly veiled guessing game… which of course I’ve decided to keep guessing on. What do you guys think?

WHICH ubiquitous blond clotheshorse is gaining a reputation for being dumb as a brick, obnoxious, spoiled and hard to work with? Look for several business deals to fall through next year due to her waning appeal

(um, Paris, Sienna, Ashley Olsen?)

WHICH terrifyingly thin celeb convinced friends she needs to re-enter rehab for anorexia by telling them she survives on decaf Starbucks and mixed nuts?

(um, Nicole, Kate Bosworth, MK?)

WHICH back-stabbing friend of an overly publicized starlet is on retainer at a high-selling tabloid? When she’s not trying to copy the star or steal her boyfriends, she’s selling secrets to the rags.

(see, this one is good…)