My dad sat me down last night and talked to me about business school. Frankly, I can’t believe he could pry himself away from my stepmom long enough to have a normal conversation, and I’m sort of proud. He would never set aside this much time for me just to talk about my boy problems.
The interesting thing is, though, that business school and dating seem very similar. Among the things my dad told me that I ALWAYS tell Jenny about boys…
* Don’t show your cards all at once, especially if you’re negotiating a second meeting (or date)
*Always overestimate your worth when planning a merger
*Never assess the merchandise in public
*And most important, never EVER accept a first offer.
I think I’m gonna ace business school, I do.
Sorry I took a time out from the blog but I’m getting a little self conscious. I know that I’m not the best writer and that sometimes I can be a space cadet, but… well, here’s what happened.
Last week I was talking to Sebastian, and I was like, let’s go to Doma and drink coffee all day, and he was like “why? don’t you want to go shop and party?” And I felt like Cher in Clueless when she has to ask Paul Rudd “Is that all I am to you, a ditz with a credit card?”
And I realize that I love Nicole Richie and drinks and shopping. But I’m way insulted. I didn’t even expect to be insulted, but for some reason it really bothered me. And I said, “no, I think I just want to talk” and he said okay but I could tell he didn’t mean it. I could tell.
And I thought, fine, you know what? I’ll go myself. So I walked to Gitane in Michael Kors flat boots because I guess I was feeling more intellectual. I brought my copy of “Lipstick Jungle” and I sat with a latte and I read. I looked up and everybody else was reading. Not Sidekicking. Not flirting. Reading. And the weird thing is, it felt peaceful. It felt nice. It was a little like getting a pedicure, but you didn’t have to talk to anybody which is of course the annoying part.
Just when I got to the “Lipstick Jungle” part that I’m convinced is about Anna Wintour (Eva says it’s not but what does she know? She only worked at Not Vogue), this guy takes the seat next to me. He looks a little like Jude Law. Then he starts talking and I’m like, wait a second, are you actually Jude Law?
But here’s the thing – he’s like, “is that coffee good? I never know what to get in an American coffee shop,” like trying to play the whole British thing? And normally I would be so into the entire ordeal and I would be like, “do you want a sip” and then it’s basically like pre-kissing because we’re sharing a cup, you know? But instead I’m like, “it’s good coffee, but it’s even better when it’s quiet.” And I got up and left.
Then yesterday I passed by NYU on my way to Forever 21? Which I will totally admit I shop at? And I saw these course catalogues in the window. I took one. I started reading about classes on marketing. I don’t know. I sort of love the idea of me in an office. Now that Isabel Toledo is doing the Anne Klein line I think there will be some great suits for fall. And also, then I can send Sebastian a business card. It can be like “Sophia Schouler – marketing executive for the coolest theater company in New York, like The Citizens Band so I can hang out with Karen Elson.”
And then on the back I’m going to write “I’m not stupid but you’re still a jerk.”
As you can tell from the fact that our TV show is called SUNSET HEAT, we girls are not fans of the cold weather.
While jetting off to Cabo or Miami is always an option for us, it’s not really an option for most of you (or for me actually because I’m camped out until Factory Girl finally opens next week).
So, here’s a little list of things you can do to make yourself feel more summery when your cab turns into an igloo and walking to brunch is the equivalent of an arctic exploring trip.
Also, I don’t know who invented the phrase “cold comfort” but they were totally deranged. I mean, if you can’t stand the heat, get out of the party. Or something.
Okay 1. Wear your bikini underneath your cashmere. This is especially fun if your bikini is print (like Paris’, left) and your cashmere is a little sheer. A black C&C cashmere tee with a black Burberry print bikini underneath is awesome.
2. Use products with coconut in them to make you smell like the beach. You should shave your legs with Suave Coconut conditioner bc it works the same as shaving cream but it smells like Hawaii!
3. Drink margaritas instead of martinis.
4. Go to a hotel with a hot tub instead of a bar. The hotel QT may be in midtown, which is gross, but it also lets you go with a bathing suit, drink by the pool all night, and breathe in humid chlorine, which is surprisingly soothing in the winter.
5. Smell sunset heat perfume. Duh. That’s cheesy but it always does remind me of my summer.
6. Put your Versace beach towel on top of your bed and read your favorite magazines in a tank top and shorts. Turn a heat lamp on next to you and watch DVDs of The O.C.
Reese Witherspoon did look amazing at the Golden Globes, but I think their unsung style hero was Renee Zellweger.
She was smart enough to pick a knee-length dress since she’s too short to wear a long one. She chose a flattering color instead of a trendy one. She’s accentuating her curves instead of starving herself out of them. And she used to date Jack White, which – thanks to Jenny – is now something I find totally impressive.
Also, it doesn’t appear that she has a date, which makes it even better.
As for me, I don’t think I’m going to date the Murakami guy, so maybe instead I’ll head to Dior and find this dress.
But – here’s the next question – do you think I can set him up with Jenny? Or is that like buying someone’s birthday present at a sample sale.
Fill me in.
Jenny gives a way better performance than Lauren Conrad ever could!
So I met this guy.
Surprise. That’s how these always go.
It was at the Beatrice Inn, when I was trying to make amends with Jenny. Which sort of worked, I guess, if by “sort of worked” we mean, Jenny smiled and said, “it’s okay, I’m over it,” and her face was clearer to see through than her vanilla vodka and it said “I’m trying but I’m not sure I can be friends with you ever again.”
But we can still try.
In the meantime, we texted Sebastia, who must have been drunk because he came by Beatrice and started talking to us about art and The Trascendentalists. I was like, okay, The Transcendentalists must be a band, right? So I let Jenny and Sebastian talk about those together, and while I texted Eva, this guy came over.
He was gorgeous. We talked for maybe five minutes before Jenny declared “Eva just texted – The Strokes are all at Milk and Honey, and now that Fab and Drew are done, we have to go!” So we did, but I gave this guy my number.
He called the next day. A little too eager for me, but whatever. He calls and he can’t seem to carry on a conversation. He asks me questions like “so where do you live?” and “where are you from?” and I’m like, okay, you have no game, buh bye.
But then he says he works as an artist for Tadashi Murakami.
Yeah, THE Murakami. The one with the bags.
And he says he’s working on this giant Louis Vuitton print painting for an opening he’s having next month, and would I like to see it?
ARE YOU KIDDING?
But. This guy is dreadfully boring. I almost hung up on him four times during our conversation. It was like watching BBC America in Spanish, that’s how dreadfully dull the whole thing was. So what should I do? Date him despite zero interest so I can see this incredible painting (and meet Murakami and have him autograph the inside of my bag)?
Or do I just back away, slowly, from the cute and incredibly well connected, but dreadfully boring boy?
(Dear Nora Ephron, I am cuter than Meg Ryan… plus my lips are real)
(watch Sunset Heat TV instead!)
Thank you for the incredible New Year’s card. I know it’s supposed to be for Chinese New Year and not regular New Year, but that sort of makes it even better.
I really don’t know what I would do if I hadn’t met you this year, and I hope you don’t totally regret me dragging you on TV in Sunset Heat.
Okay, but speaking of TV, I heard that Jenny invited you to go to MTV for New Year’s with her.
True? Am I seriously going to be watching you with Eva on TRL in the near future?
OMG, so unfair. Plus, would that make you her New Year’s DATE?
Call me, we really have to talk.
Coolest news ever: the Victoria and Albert museum in London is hosting a Kylie Minogue exhibit next year.
This should be pretty amazing – last year they did an Anna Piaggi exhibit – and I really hope Kylie herself shows up to cut the ribbon!
Plus, Kylie is world-famous for her “knickers” and they’ll have to put them in the exhibit. I think it will definitely be the first time that anybody’s underwear is going up on display in a major art museum!
Now, not that I’d ever want my underwear on display, but maybe if Sunset Heat gets really big, the Smithsonian can have my Missoni bikini or something?